A Jester in the King's Court

Topic: Total Depravity and Irresistible Grace

I hate sour cream. Seriously. It’s the Devil’s ketchup. I also hate guacamole, which has lead some people to assert that I cannot enjoy Mexican food. These people are wrong for a litany of reasons that won’t be discussed here, but rest assured the only people wronger than they are the ones that thought Laser Disc would take off.

Conversely, I love BBQ sauce. And when I say that, let me clarify that I do mean love…I mean seriously….if a woman went to Bath and Body works and bought a lotion that smelt like BBQ sauce, I’d probably propose immediately. Also, let me clarify that I don’t mean all BBQ sauces. They must taste like BBQ sauce. They can’t taste like ketchup with extra salt….I’m looking at you Wendy’s. Clearly if Wendy’s BBQ sauce is the only condiment around…sure, I can use it, but over all, not my fav.

So, to respond to Amber’s request for a blog on Calvinism back in March, here is my take on at least part of the TULIP. Let’s say I’m in a situation where I’m eating a food that could be eaten with both BBQ sauce and sour cream. I don’t know what this food is, but let’s pretend its chicken strips (the official food of 4 y/o’s and mid-20’s man-children everywhere)? Can you dip chicken strips in sour cream? I honestly don’t know. But in this analogy, dipping chicken strips in sour cream is more natural than an Oreo in milk (which is hyper natural by the way).

So, I’m eating chicken strips and my only dipping options are sour cream and Wendy’s BBQ sauce. My options suck, but I’m so repulsed by sour cream that my only option in Wendy’s BBQ sauce…and I’ve eaten it enough that I’m actually under the impression that it’s good BBQ sauce. So everyday I eat my chicken strips with Wendy’s BBQ sauce, and I think everything is awesome. Then one day, some one comes by and says that he is going to have to fix the lighting in the room (sure, we can call him Spirit…not to be confused with the Stallion of the Simeron) and when he does, I realize that what I thought was a bowl with white sour cream in it actually was jus a bowl that has really shiny saran wrap on it that reflected the light making its contents look white, when really it was a brownish-red color.

So, I ask the light changer what’s in the bowl, and he says it’s the Hickory Smoked BBQ sauce from Wing Stop. I thank him for letting me know (though this is the part in Plato’s Allegory of the Cave where he’d be beaten to death) and get my chicken strips and walk over to the bowl that I now accurately perceive as Hickory BBQ. I look at the Wendy’s BBQ that I’m used to and realize that this BBQ looks better, smells better, etc…so, having been illuminated as to what this bowl really is, and having gone from it being something hyper repulsive to something crazy awesome looking, I clearly choose this bowl of BBQ. Could I choose to go against that and freely choose the Wendy’s BBQ? Sure it’s a logical possibility. But I won’t. I am in fact irresistibly drawn to this better sauce. Why? Because my perception of what is in the bowl has been made new.

Suddenly, I realize I wasn’t happy with my old sauce, I love this new sauce. It’s the best sauce ever and want to enjoy it at every meal. Can I choose my old sauce still? Sure…and now and then I do because its habit, and after I do it I’m always mad at myself and disappointed because it really just leaves you feeling empty and like you wasted a chance at eating better sauce. Thankfully, the more a person realizes and appreciates the Wingstop Hickory BBQ sauce, the less attractive the Wendy’s one becomes….but that’s the doctrine of sanctification/perseverance of the saints….I’m aiming at Total Depravity and Irresistible Grace:]

Is this a stupid analogy? No. Is it a very stupid analogy? Yes….yes it is. Does this analogy make me sound a little too into BBQ? Yes. Am I ok with that? Yes…and I only asked that to take advantage of the comedic rule of 3.

When I present this analogy to my youth group I use pizza and dog poop (I mean I’ve never brought them in…but still)…but it doesn’t matter what 2 items you use. The thing is, I used to hate the doctrines of Total Depravity and Irresistible Grace. I thought they were vile. But then I realized that humanity is really screwed up. Even I as a child of God still delight in evil now and then for a few moments, and then hate myself afterward (hence the Wendy’s BBQ relapse…wretched man that I am!). Once I started building my theology of sin, I realized a lost person loves themselves and sin too much to ever choose to submit to God, unless something in them changed to make them perceive God as something greater than they saw Him to be. And once that change happened, once they saw that God was not something vile to be trampled on, rather someone absolutely amazing, then even though they could reject Him, they wouldn’t. Their desire would be for Him. Doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t go through periods of messing that up, but He would be, to borrow from Anselm, That-then-which-a-greater-cannot-be-thought and the regenerate/illuminated soul would choose Him.

This is a secondary issue…its non-salvific and there are plenty of people who disagree with me. Plenty of people tha can see the value in the analogy, but would spin it differently at the end to make it a decisional regeneration (this would entail the sour cream gradually changing into something else, or the person growing to love sour cream as opposed to an immediate perceptional change probably…though I’m not sure). And of course, plenty of people will be furious that they read a blog entry as lame as to compare salvation to switching BBQ sauce flavors (I feel your pain most of all). But, hey…I was asked to rite on it forever ago and I’m trying to post more frequently.

So, in review: Man only chooses God due to a perceptional change that occurs within Him that steams from being made new, or regeneration (which the Spirit brings about). After this, man can freely choose to proceed being at enmity with God, but he never will (logical possibility, not logical plausibility). After salvation, due to the existence of the old nature, man can and will still choose to damage that relationship with God, but that is a sanctification issue and outside the scope of this lengthy post.

Also, I love BBQ sauce.

Ok, so, that’s how I present at least that part of predestination to my youth group and it seems to hold pretty well for me. Now, that’s 2 posts in 2 days…I’m kind of a machine.